I always had a crush on school teachers or just men that are unavailable/wrong/different.
Relationships have always been 1st in my mind. Never a career.
My 1st relationship was with a much older married man. When I was 17 I had sex for the 1st time. He already had another mistress-more his age- and this made the situation very difficult for me. I never felt good enough, although I stayed with this man for 6 years.
I always wanted to prove to him,myself,others that I could put up with this situation because I needed to be with him.
He never spoke about his mistress, but I would see them together sometimes. I just accepted my role and knew I had no choice.
My Mistress Blog
Wednesday, 18 July 2012
Monday, 16 July 2012
The past.......
Well when I was a child, teenager and adult I always went for older men!
I don't know why-Both my parents had me late (Mum 36/Dad 43) (which I guess now-a-days, isn't that old), but when I was growing up, everyone at school had much younger parents which played on my mind a lot.
If this had something to do with it, I don't know. I was also a only child.
At 15, I still didn't know what to do in life and leaving school was a huge deal to me. I felt so depressed about my life as it was ending. I stayed in 6th form-not because I wanted a qualification, but because I couldn't face being in the outside world with no guidance. This time in my life was when I focused on my first married man.
One of my school bus drivers was cute, married but not interested. I was of course very young, but when you are that age, you can't help what age you are, plus, you always think you are more mature than you really are.......
I don't know why-Both my parents had me late (Mum 36/Dad 43) (which I guess now-a-days, isn't that old), but when I was growing up, everyone at school had much younger parents which played on my mind a lot.
If this had something to do with it, I don't know. I was also a only child.
At 15, I still didn't know what to do in life and leaving school was a huge deal to me. I felt so depressed about my life as it was ending. I stayed in 6th form-not because I wanted a qualification, but because I couldn't face being in the outside world with no guidance. This time in my life was when I focused on my first married man.
One of my school bus drivers was cute, married but not interested. I was of course very young, but when you are that age, you can't help what age you are, plus, you always think you are more mature than you really are.......
Sunday, 15 July 2012
My 1st blog page......
Hi, I'm a mistress. Since I was 15 to now - age 34- I have lived this life and I guess I'm hoping you will get some info on why and how these things happen.
I wanted to write down my experiences some what because they are interesting and partly because I'm trying to understand what went wrong.
I have never really lived a ''normal'' life where I would get married and have children.
My experiences have been intense and there have been a few guys who went on to bring me down in life.
I'm sure we have all loved and lost and being with a married man doesn't mean your heart isn't broken often. Yes-This is my fault.
Sometimes don't you just wish you could be yourself on Facebook?
I would love to write ''I want to die.'' or ''I had a wonderful day with the man I love more than anyone else in the world.''
It's a shame you can't just express yourself without the feeling of everyone attacking your status asking ''Is everything alright?''-''No-but I just want to say it out loud for a change.''
I wanted to write down my experiences some what because they are interesting and partly because I'm trying to understand what went wrong.
I have never really lived a ''normal'' life where I would get married and have children.
My experiences have been intense and there have been a few guys who went on to bring me down in life.
I'm sure we have all loved and lost and being with a married man doesn't mean your heart isn't broken often. Yes-This is my fault.
Sometimes don't you just wish you could be yourself on Facebook?
I would love to write ''I want to die.'' or ''I had a wonderful day with the man I love more than anyone else in the world.''
It's a shame you can't just express yourself without the feeling of everyone attacking your status asking ''Is everything alright?''-''No-but I just want to say it out loud for a change.''
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